Boundary Violations in Psychotherapy – A Personal Case Study
My Therapist Needed a Good Therapist but Used Me Instead
Research indicates that therapists often overestimate their effectiveness, with many believing most clients improve, despite evidence showing typical deterioration rates of 5-10%. The more self-confident a therapist, the more blind to their clients' deterioration they may be. This post sums up published research into therapists' blind spots.
I wrote the apology I wish Sam had had the courage to write to me. (Warning, really long and totally theoretical.)
We went back to twice weekly sessions, but it only made things worse as Sam disclosed more and more, making me feel closer and closer as she both implied and explicitly spoke about our intimate relationship.
The professional judgement of Dr. Paul Appelbaum, a world renown forensic psychologist, with opinions as to how Sam "markedly deviated" from her responsibilities as a therapist.
Despite my initial desire to end things, Sam persuades me to continue seeing her. What a mistake.
My goodbye letter to Sam. (Spoiler, it didn't stick, and that's why there's more of this blog.)
The relationship with Sam became blurred as she used suggestive language and pushed for more frequent, insurance-questionable sessions. Our dynamic came to a head when Sam admitted to seductive behavior and told me she loved me.
In which I develop feelings for Sam and tell her I'm having transference, which she dismisses, telling me it's just love.
In the summer of 2020, during the Covid pandemic, Sam wanted to discuss our relationship. I objected, stating that our interactions were strictly professional. Despite this, she continued to insist on the existence of a relationship, referencing psychoanalytic concepts like transference and countertransference. One of the cruxes of this story is Sam's ability (or inability) to manage her own countertransference.
Everyone wonders what their therapist thinks of them. Mostly, we want to know if they think we're normal. Sometimes we want to know if we're their favorite patient. I now had some idea: she wanted me to like her.
Boundary Violations in Psychotherapy - A Personal Case Study 