Boundary Violations in Psychotherapy – A Personal Case Study – My Therapist Needed a Good Therapist but Used Me Instead

“I love You. I am Deeply Immersed With You.” — Sam

The relationship with Sam became blurred as she used suggestive language and pushed for more frequent, insurance-questionable sessions. Our dynamic came to a head when Sam admitted to seductive behavior and told me she loved me.

Facts of the Case, Includes Primary Material, Includes Recordings, Narrative of the Case
My Breakdown

I experienced deep emotional turmoil after Sam messed up her first attempt to handle the aftermath of her gaslighting me.

Facts of the Case, Includes Primary Material, Matt’s Theorizing, Narrative of the Case
Letter to Sam

My goodbye letter to Sam. (Spoiler, it didn’t stick, and that’s why there’s more of this blog.)

Facts of the Case, Includes Primary Material
The First Next Session

Despite my initial desire to end things, Sam persuades me to continue seeing her. What a mistake.

Facts of the Case, Includes Recordings
An Expert Weighs In

The professional judgement of Dr. Paul Appelbaum, a world renown forensic psychologist, with opinions as to how Sam “markedly deviated” from her responsibilities as a therapist.

Background on Terminology, Facts of the Case, Includes Primary Material, Outside Sources
Three Months of Hell

We went back to twice weekly sessions, but it only made things worse as Sam disclosed more and more, making me feel closer and closer as she both implied and explicitly spoke about our intimate relationship.

Facts of the Case, Includes Recordings, Matt’s Theorizing
The Reversiest of Roles

When Sam’s niece dies suddenly, I became her therapist comforting her.

Includes Recordings, Narrative of the Case
In Which We See Each Other In Person

I visit Sam at her Watertown office to see what it would be like to be in the room with her again. It was the beginning of the end.

Facts of the Case, Includes Primary Material, Includes Recordings, Narrative of the Case
How Much Gaslighting Before You Go Up In Smoke?

Our last arguments, almost, where everything became unhinged and continuing to see her became untenable.

Matt’s Theorizing, Narrative of the Case
The Last Waltz

I make my exit and never speak to her again afterwards.

Facts of the Case, Includes Recordings, Narrative of the Case

Unlike a typical blog, this is written in chapter form. Start at the top and read posts downward to follow the story.

This is the story of how a female psychotherapist told me she loved me, a 53 year old professional male, causing a sever emotional breakdown and then reversing roles and treating me like I was her therapist. It includes recordings of sessions, contemporaneous emails, texts, and some of her notes, and a certain amount of theorizing. While all the facts here are absolutely true and corroborated, I do some layman’s theorizing about why she may have treated me the way she did.

This story is here to help others who may find themselves in, or sliding towards, a similar situation in the hopes that you can rescue yourself before you wind up where I did.